“Damn, that chick was hot!”
January 2010
18 posts
“I really don’t like fat people! I just don’t understand why some people have to be so fat!”
“Want to see a picture of a severed finger?”
“You only come off as matronly because you think of yourself as being matronly. It’s mind over matter.”
“Good job.” (post sex)
“It’s not you—it just doesn’t feel right. Now, let’s carry on.”
“Dude, thanks for the killer beej!”
“So, that was really uncomfortable… but I had a BLAST!”
“You said big boobs run in your family? Wow, uh, you should… keep me away from your mom and sister. No, seriously.”
“I’m pretty sure I don’t care about any of the details of your work day.”
“I mean, I like you but I am not attracted to you, you’re like too much like me, you know, like a sister.”
“Since I left my crazy ex, I’ve just hired escorts. But only four or five of them.”
“Can I ask you something? When girls sign their emails ‘xoxo,’ what is that? Does that mean they want to do it?”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stick it in? It’s really small. You’ll hardly feel it.”
“I mean, Jesus. If someone looked in my sock drawer right now, I mean look at it. A lighter, weed, and a condom.”
“I’ve been featured in two magazines… for being unemployed.”
“Based on your profile, I thought you’d be huge!”
“You know ketamine? Special K? Yeah, I used to deal that.”
December 2009
34 posts
“I’m not really into this whole ‘gentleman’ thing—so make sure you bring some cash for your meal.”
THINGS MY DATE REALLY SAID LAST NIGHT is taking a two week vacation. don’t be mad. we’ll be back mid-january. please keep track of the things your dates say in the meantime, and keep contributing.
thanks <3
